BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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