Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
