My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
