ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
