i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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