I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
