he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
