Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
