yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
