So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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