its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
NoShamevember. You game?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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