That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
