I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
