CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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