My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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