I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
