She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
