That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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