You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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