she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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