i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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