..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
