Michael Bay diarrhea
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
