in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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