i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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