wat bout pragnant strippers??
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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