the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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