Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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