oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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