Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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