i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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