i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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