I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
