Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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