I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
