we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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