Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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