some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
