you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my shit smells like andre
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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