There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
