i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
