Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
