It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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