Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
