Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
