Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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