A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
