Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
