Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
