I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
