**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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