this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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