He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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