If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
