During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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