You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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